The platform heels with peek-a-boo toes and a rosette felt
fine for the thirty seconds I wore them in the store. But the moment my feet hit the parking lot, the
elven enchantment that made them bearable in the store dissolved, leaving me with shoes that cut into the flesh
of my big toes carving ugly red welts. “But they are CUTE!!” screamed the sadistic
fashionista inside my head. So I decided
to man up and wear them anyway. After
all, I had spent a fortune on little adhesive foam inserts that promised to
make every heel a comfort shoe. So, I
put those cute little stickers inside the toes, grabbed my planner and to-do
list, and set out to conquer my day in style.
After to-do-list item number two the red welts on my toes
threatened to become weeping open sores.
That’s when reason triumphed. Life
is too long for cute shoes. Heck, the
DAY is too long for cute shoes! At only
11:00 am, I knew that I could not possibly make it to noon in the torturous
contraptions slung across the back of my heels.
So, feeling a little defeated, but wiser, I drove home and placed the shoes
in their box (which proudly bore the logo “Breaking hearts since 1981!” I think they meant breaking feet and
spirits.). The box now perches atop the
pile of cast-offs destined for Goodwill.
I pulled my cowboy boots on. I admit they ARE cute. So, I guess not all reasonable shoes are
unattractive, but let’s face it- heels and platforms and peeking-toes speak a
whole different language than cowboy boots, athletic shoes, and anything
bearing the name KEEN. I am pretty sure
you wouldn’t catch Carrie Bradshaw dead in a pair of KEENS, my go-to shoe when
I developed Morton’s neuroma.
I love great shoes, shoes with color, shoes with height,
shoes that dare to be noticed. But as
much as I love shoes, I detest limping through a 12 hour day as the victim of
pinched toes and nerves and angry blisters.
And I bitterly resent the agony of carrying all my body weight on the
inadequate balls of my feet. Whose
brilliant idea was that? Surely some
brave style house will embrace a modest 2”- 2.5” heel again, soon, before I
have to replace my KEENS with SAS.
Put your comfy shoes shoes on and Rule Your World!