The platform heels with peek-a-boo toes and a rosette felt fine for the thirty seconds I wore them in the store. But the moment my feet hit the parking lot, the elven enchantment that made them bearable in the store dissolved, leaving me with shoes that cut into the flesh of my big toes carving ugly red welts. “But they are CUTE!!” screamed the sadistic fashionista inside my head. So I decided to man up and wear them anyway. After all, I had spent a fortune on little adhesive foam inserts that promised to make every heel a comfort shoe. So, I put those cute little stickers inside the toes, grabbed my planner and to-do list, and set out to conquer my day in style.
After to-do-list item number two the red welts on my toes threatened to become weeping open sores. That’s when reason triumphed. Life is too long for cute shoes. Heck, the DAY is too long for cute shoes! At only 11:00 am, I knew that I could not possibly make it to noon in the torturous contraptions slung across the back of my heels. So, feeling a little defeated, but wiser, I drove home and placed the shoes in their box (which proudly bore the logo “Breaking hearts since 1981!” I think they meant breaking feet and spirits.). The box now perches atop the pile of cast-offs destined for Goodwill.
I pulled my cowboy boots on. I admit they ARE cute. So, I guess not all reasonable shoes are unattractive, but let’s face it- heels and platforms and peeking-toes speak a whole different language than cowboy boots, athletic shoes, and anything bearing the name KEEN. I am pretty sure you wouldn’t catch Carrie Bradshaw dead in a pair of KEENS, my go-to shoe when I developed Morton’s neuroma.
I love great shoes, shoes with color, shoes with height, shoes that dare to be noticed. But as much as I love shoes, I detest limping through a 12 hour day as the victim of pinched toes and nerves and angry blisters. And I bitterly resent the agony of carrying all my body weight on the inadequate balls of my feet. Whose brilliant idea was that? Surely some brave style house will embrace a modest 2”- 2.5” heel again, soon, before I have to replace my KEENS with SAS.
Put your comfy shoes shoes on and Rule Your World!